Wednesday, December 01, 2004
i duno wad i am lacking of .. perhaps i'm living in insecureness .. i dunno wad will happen tml .. i duno if my friends will leave me ... i'm afraid of everything ... crying over every small things ... which i could not stop myself.. haix ... sometimes feel i am quite useless ... go out look for job dun even dare to ask if got vacancy only dare to say thanku .... i should go be begger suan le .. ple give money i say thanku ...... i really very scared to work ... i dun dare tok to ple ...mabbe tml i go taking form to do motorola .... 7days aweek... so scary ... i didn't really wanna work .. but no choice i need $$$ ... i wan buy nokia 7270 and creative nomad .... which my mama wun allow me to buy de ... i'm afraid when every1 start working .. they will have no time for me ... to go out n fun le ... and i dun1 to work alone ... i'm afraid of eating lunch alone ... i duno why ....
i need to thanks yenlynn ... she's always there for me ... making sure i wun be left out ... and anne too ... she's a nice and cute ger .... even if no1 reads my diary... i'm not worried ... i feel much more better saying out wat i want to say ... which i dun usually say ... i oftenly hide in my heart ... the emptiness... used to depend too much on my mama ... and now get homesick easily .... quite useless... sometimes a bit hate myself .... so inconfident .... i even get nightmares of ple laughing at me ... esp the sec5 agape ple ... whenever i see them i so hope to hide from them ...
now i must be determined to do something ... i must jianfei .. for my future and my own health ... but recently sick .. sort of spoiled my mood and feel that i cannot do it ... i know exactly ... saying and doing is so much different ....
my diaryland de i dun1 it le lar .. last time got some stupid virus make the diary screw up .. dun even know how to save it ... then i decided to get a blogspot.. looks much more easier to edit things ....
